Comrades are those who have the same ideals,
fighting for something holy, accepting hardship and sacrifice. As when our country had war, many people were ready to sacrifice their lives for the country's independence. Those who had this target were comrades because they had the same holy things: have love for the Fatherland, compatriots, and willing to bear all hardships and sacrifice.
WHAT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED BEFORE FALIING IN LOVE
Each Buddhist has two opposite characteristics. One is they still have love for someone, and the other is they know love is attachment and suffering, so they aim to compassion. So what should we do if we are about to fall in love?
- Firstly, ask yourself two questions:
The first one is: “Which kind of love is it? By instinct or by karma? What should we do for each kind?”
The second question is: “Do we realize that this kind of love is invading the compassion of a Buddhist?” It will gradually replace the compassion that we only have after a very long time of cultivation; hence, we are going backward.
Ask yourself these two questions. Will you still remember them when being in love? Perhaps no, as all your mind is for your love.
- Secondly, when you fall in love with someone, remind yourself that the person you love will change.
The first thing is her appearance.
Though she looks lovely now, she will grow old and look ugly with her back bending like a roof. Formerly, when we read a paragraph of Buddhist scriptures that Buddha described the appearance of a woman from being young with everything being in good conditions to old with wrinkled skin, tooth loss, white hair, unable-to-see-well eyes, bent back like a roof, etc. We ever wondered if Buddha exaggerated. But over years of cultivation, we found that Buddha was right to express the true nature of the human body that no one can avoid this process.
The second thing is not only the appearance, but her characters will change.
She is now gentle, kind, lovely, but then over time, if she doesn't improve her manners, she will become another person sullen, selfish, aggressive and fierce. People can negatively change. The lovely next-door girl with the beautiful smile and long hair is now a violent woman who will scold everyone she meets. It's strange but true.
The third thing to consider is you have to be responsible for that person for the rest of your life. Butthatisnotenough. You havetoberesponsible for the families of two sides of that person in all your life. So when you love someone, please remember that first, that person will change, usually negatively, i.e., she will become ugly and have poor manners. Next is you have to be responsible for that person, his or her families for all your life. Each person should consider whether you can bear those burdens.
Looking outward together in the same direction - the key to making love less suffering
French novelist Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said: “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” This statement is good. It is the key to making love less gloomy.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other” means you not only just care for the person you love and nothing/no one else. Otherwise, no more than three months later, you two will hate each other, and your love will be broken, and you two even want to kill each other! It is very strange, but it was bitterness of love. Why? Because when you too love someone, your selfishness grows dramatically and your partner's ego grows incredibly. You and the person you love are corrupt. It is the nature of love. So “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”. What is that direction? Any direction that is nobler, holier, and more virtuous, and the love will be durable because you two become two comrades, and the love between comrades is much nobler.
Comrades are those who have the same ideals, fighting for something holy, accepting hardship and sacrifice. As when our country had war, many people were ready to sacrifice their lives for the country's independence. Those who had this target were comrades because they had the same holy things: have love for the Fatherland, compatriots, and willing to bear all hardships and sacrifice.
Now if two people fall in love with each other and have the same holy goals, they are both partners and comrades, and their love will be stronger and more durable. What if only "gaze at each other?" Then it is like two electrodes, positive and negative, touch each other. What will happen? The fuse will burst, the power will be cut, and finish! If there is no fuse, the generator will explode, and all will be in the dark.
But if we put between a negative electrode and a positive electrode an electrical device such as a TV, a radio, a fan, or a refrigerator, we will have good results: a TV, a radio will entertain us, a fan help us feel easy, the refrigerator will help preserve our food. That is, in the love of men and women, if we set up a noble goal, like going to pagodas, chanting prayers, sitting in meditation, doing charity together, then naturally the love will be strong. Thus, great targets in love like electrical devices between the two electrodes that will bring nice outcomes. So when you love someone, at the very first beginning, remind each other of looking outward together at the same direction, and more importantly, it is the direction of Buddhism, and your love will grow well.
Written by:
Janna
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