In fact, when people get married,

"FAMIOLOGY" (OR THE SCIENCE OF FAMILY)

Linh asked Trường:
"Why did you suddenly quit your good job? Is there something secret about you?"

Trường said:
"No secret at all. But I have something to do. I asked my parents to feed me while I'm researching my own project."
"Your parents aren't tired of feeding you? You have a master's degree, but want to rely on them again?"
"It's lucky enough that my parents have a comfortable life, and they love me. I'm always pleased. They only want me to get married and have a lot of kids. It's their demand that causes me to quit my job to do my research."
"What are you talking about? I don't get you. Get married, quit job, research? What? What does it mean?"
"It means that getting married is to have a family. We have a spouse. If my wife gives birth, I'll be a father, she'll be a mother. The babies are our kids..."
"Have you seen a psychiatrist recently?"

"I don't have any mental issues, why would I have to see a doctor? I haven't finished explaining. We all want to have a family that includes a husband and a wife and kids, who should be happy. When we love someone, we think we'll have a happy family if we marry that person. But when I did research, the answer surprised me. One hundred families were asked if they are happy and they all said no. They told me that after they got married, they had to face countless unexpected situations, while they weren't prepared for dealing with any of those situations. As a result, they've made a mistake by not being clearly prepared to solve all these problems, and now their families have lost happiness."

"So, I suppose if I get married, I'll fall into the "same situation. I want to research all the situations to find a good solution to each case, and make my notes into a manual. Later, when I get married, I'll have my ways to handle any difficulty in my family."

Linh nodded her head in satisfaction:
"It sounds good. How much work have you done?"
"The more I research, the more I love it. This issue relates to that issue. It seems they all have criss cross connections."

"Happiness of a family" is a huge category, including many fields. I could write a university textbook. There are many subjects, many sides, many fields, and they all are truly important. If I focus on the research and write them down, it will take me 10 years to do that. Then, I'll be 40 years old."

"The first chapter is to choose a spouse so that the marriage can be 80% sure of success. Only this chapter can show its extreme complication. It turns out that people haven't known how to choose their spouse for a long time. They get married because they fall in love, or their girlfriends get pregnant and they have to get married. Many unreasonable cases aren't logical or wise enough at all. Consequently, their marriages fail."

Linh asked:
"For a long time, people have got married because of love. Now you say something different that people should get married logically. It's not convincing."

"I'm not rejecting the view that people should get married because of love. But I just want to show something new to people who marry to create a happy family. This is much better. Love is the past and present, while a goal of marriage is to be a happy family in the future. So, where are we going? To the future or back to the past? Clearly, we're going to the future. That's why we should think about setting a goal of making a happy family. The goal is very important."

"What you said seems right. But people don't care about the future while they're in love. If they can't marry their lovers, they might commit suicide."

"This is a point that we need a course on marriage education. Or it can be called 'famiology'."
"My goal is to set up this subject to consult people before they want to get married. Everyone who passes this course can get married. I believe that after they finish this course, 90% of them will think again about their bride-to-be or groom-to-be because their previous thinking will not be logical."

"Then I go to the following chapters like 'Family Health', 'Family Finances', 'Settling Disagreements', 'Being Responsible For Two Sides of Parenting', 'Giving Birth To Kids', 'Raising Kids Up To Be Healthy', 'Teaching Kids To Be Good', 'When We Get Lost', 'Changing Of Psychology Due To Time', 'Making Spouses' Morality Complete', 'Self-Improving To Contribute To Creating A Happy Family'... there is a lot more."

Linh smiled playfully:
"I have a plan to marry you. But after all you've said, I need to think twice ... haha..."

Trường seriously looked at her:
"It's no joke. Choosing a spouse is very difficult. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their own shortcomings or bad habits. We ourselves have bad habits and shortcomings, too. We need to gather all of them and see if those bad habits and shortcomings would destroy our marriage or not. If they won't destroy our marriage, can we overcome them little by little? Or can we improve ourselves and change for the better?"
"I formed a list of results from my research of the one hundred families, plus all shortcomings of both husbands and wives, to see what effect each of those shortcomings have on the marriage's chances of success. If people look at my list, they might stop taking risks just to get married, because it shows all the bad results and why."

"Family breakdown is mostly because of disagreements. I must quote a lot of specific situations and ways to solve those problems. For example, a husband wants to hang on the wall a picture of a girl standing on a beach, while his wife really wants to burn it. Or a husband wants to go to his parents' house for the Tet holidays, while his wife wants to go to her parents' home. You see how that can cause a divorce."

In fact, when people get married, most of them have no idea about the science of family. There are so many problems in the family about which we haven't discovered yet. Just like if we set sail to the sea yet have no knowledge of marine navigation, or take a book while not knowing how to read. Just like we have a scooter, but we don't know how to ride. There is no official famiology in the world, and that's why most marriages are broken down. My ambition is to set up famiology to help people who are going to get married, who are married, and who were married. No one knows if one day, there will be a law that forces people to finish a course of famiology before they're allowed to get married."

Linh said:
"I am beginning to think your work is serious. But it doesn't make sense if you set up this famiology while you're single."
"I tried to choose a few good people to add to my character, and finally, a bad result was found. So, I have no plan for marriage yet."
"Did you try with my character?"
"I did. Your big problem is thinking I need to see a psychiatrist. That really hurts my pride. It's very hard to recover male pride."
"I'm sorry. I just made a joke..."
This famiology will be specifically helpful for the world.

Written by:
Janna

Related Articles:

Jealousy in Love, Marriage, Past Relationships and Respect

Divorce, Egoism, Morality and the Path to a Happy Family

The Sexual Instinct – Desire, Self-Control and Morality

Separation – Love, Religion, and National Unity

Both Parents: The Meaning of Gratitude and Love for Parents

Both Parents: The Meaning of Gratitude and Love for Parents

Soliciting: Loyalty, Money, Romantic Love and Betrayal

Instruction on Meditation: Essential Methods and Practice Guide

Imperfect: Identity, Meditation, Karma and the Search for Inner Peace

Why Are There Many Different Meditation Methods in Buddhism? | Q&A 16