First, we had families, and then we had a society, and in the society,
there are rules, correlations, and mutual support. If people lived separately or all lived in a camp without families, then society would be chaotic or disappear. Every society is based on the foundation of families. Biologically, a family is a continuation of the lineage, and it is thought that without families, the human race would be extinct.
YOUR FAMILY NOT ONLY IS YOUR REFUGE BUT MUST BE THE FORTRESS FOR BUDDHISM AND THE FATHERLAND
Socially, a family is a basic unit, a cell of society.
First, we had families, and then we had a society, and in the society, there are rules, correlations, and mutual support. If people lived separately or all lived in a camp without families, then society would be chaotic or disappear. Every society is based on the foundation of families. Biologically, a family is a continuation of the lineage, and it is thought that without families, the human race would be extinct.
However, spiritually, families are attachments.
Why? - Because families attach people to so many responsibilities. For example, a married man must raise his wife and children and cannot leave them for a religious life. If the wife and children are unable to raise themselves, then the husband won't be able to become enlightened, and moreover, in the next life, he will be extremely miserable because his past spiritual cultivation made a family miserable. Just in case his wife and children can take care of themselves and agree to let him go, then he can become enlightened.
As in the case of Shakyamuni Buddha, when Prince Siddhartha left his home to be a monk, his wife and child in the palace didn't lack food. His wife, Princess Yashodhara, was also a unique woman. Knowing her husband's great ideal, she always prayed for Him to fulfill his dream. The Prince attained Buddhahood, became an Extraordinary Enlightened One. Favorable conditions help you have success through your spiritual cultivation.
Now, on the broader point of view of the DhammaBuddha, let positively consider the family that we have created. Your family is where you practice compassion and altruism first. If you cannot love and have responsibilities to your family, so how can you love all beings? Every day we chant the prayers of compassion for the living beings, but if we cannot love our families, then they are just empty words. So our families are where we practice compassion and selflessness first.
Our families are also where we practice Dhamma propagation first, and then to our friends, neighbors, relatives, colleagues.
Our families are fortresses to protect the Dhamma and Homeland.
Maybe we've not yet done anything great, but first of all, we have to make all our family members be patriots, religious people who are willing to do anything to protect the country and Buddhism. The last meaning to the country and Buddhism of families is most significant: our families will be fortresses to protect the homeland and Buddhism.
First of all, families are the places where parents and children remind each other of the history of the country to foster each other's patriotism. During a walk, a chat, a trip, or a meal together, you should tell your children a story of history to inspire their patriotism.
Here is an example of these kinds of story: "When our country was still under foreign domination, our people always kept the wish of independence, because only Vietnamese people love Vietnamese people and only Vietnamese rulers love their Vietnamese people.
Foreign rulers were brutal: They exploited our nation and took our natural resources from the sea and the forest. When Thi Sach's plan was exposed, he was killed. Madams Trung Trac and Trung Nhi couldn't wait any longer. They rose up in arms and attracted many heroes. Many male/female generals followed these two Madams to wipe the invaders out. Our forefathers have sacrificed their lives for our independence today, so we must preserve our beloved country."
Furthermore, we have to remind each other about the love for Buddhism.
You can tell your children: "Without morality, humans will like wolves. What characteristic of wolves that we call evil? Most species of carnivores are never cannibalistic, but only wolves. When a wolf is still strong and healthy, it is safe, but when it gets wounded and cannot protect itself, then it is immediately eaten by other wolves. So wolves are the symbol of the evilest, more than tigers and lions. Humans can also become like wolves. Without the Dhamma and morality, human beings will harm, even kill others for their benefit. Buddhism brings us ethics and love and teaches us to bring happiness and joys to others.
Besides, parents and children regularly worship Buddha, chant a short prayer, have a meditation session together to warm each's heart.
In the stormy life,
Sacred Suttas warm us greatly
Protect us from harsh weather
Take us to the fabulous home.
So, when the Dhamma gets attacked, our family must be active soldiers to defend it.
The family is also a fortress to protect East Asian ethics.
A family has its own discipline, hierarchical order, and the members must live in harmony as per Confucianism and East Asian culture. We must prevent disobedience of children and irresponsibility of parents as it is contradictory to East Asian tradition. Also, we protect our families against lousy alien lifestyles. Therefore, outside working/studying hours, our family should spend time together to tell stories of morality, great men, and what to do for charity, etc.
We gradually build our family a sacred and happy place. And each member will become a soldier to propagate Buddhism to our connections. When still young, we share the Dharma with our school friends, and when we grow up, we share with our colleagues.
And the family is also a place to stop criminals.
When we discover an illegal person, we should directly advise that person to stop unlawful activities in order to protect the neighborhood, or else tell the authorities about that person. We should never be passive. Why do gangs grow? - Because at the very first days of their establishment, no one came to advise or prevent them, so they gradually developed into gangs, if otherwise, gangs didn't appear. So your family must be a fortress to protect the homeland, society, and somehow we have to prevent criminals from occurring, fight against the wrong to keep the community and the country safe.
From such families, we gradually create a good environment and a good community for our neighbors.
When your family is ethical and religious, you have to spread the righteousness to the remaining families of the neighborhood, then everyone and every family will be better. If you just care for your family while others are still not good, then the children including our children will be negatively affected.
Your family should regularly go to Buddhist temples, worship Buddha, visit monks/nuns, learn the morality from them, practice Buddhism and protect Buddhism. If anyone in your family, the husband/wife/children wish to be monks/nuns, you should know that it is a great blessing of your family. We should encourage and support them to be ordained.
However, if you have great ideals of working for the nation or the world, then you should not be in love, or get married or have your own family because they are always attachments.
And those who are desirous of becoming monks/nuns must try to overcome love when still being lay followers. To do so, they must meet many people/things of beauty and advantages and have a reflection on them until they don't love/like them anymore. If they are still calm after many times of facing them, then they can leave home to become monks/nuns. Being the ordained, they still have to fight against their love in all their life.
Through this article, we hope that all of you will recognize the nature of love, marriage, and family: either to avoid it for the great compassion for all beings as Buddha taught or if you got married, then try to build your family a fortress to protect the Dhamma and the motherland. That is, we try to develop our private, trivial things into sacred ones.
We hope there will be people free from love, marriage, and family to give their lives for all. Also, we wish that there will be people who determine to cut off all attachment and become true monks/nuns who are the refuge of sentient beings. The world always desires true spiritual practitioners who will contribute to the building of Buddhadhamma for humans.
Later on, I wrote a poem
Not to praise love
As love is the image of the afternoon
Though quiet, it will get dark soon.
Later on, I wrote a poem
Only to praise compassion
Of those who live for man and their country
And of the sheer happiness.
Later on, I wrote a poem
To praise the peace
And the holy happiness
Very pure and poise.
Later on, I wrote a poem
To unite people in just a heart
Great happiness forever is
One is all, and all is one.
Written by:
Janna
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