A thoughtful story about friendship, values, respect,
and the importance of choosing friends who share kindness, morality, and meaningful perspectives on life.
FRIENDSHIP
Ronald's letter:
"Dear Andy,
I would like to write this letter to express a little bit of my mind. For a while, I have admired your kindness, sincerity, and intelligence. Most of those who come near you will feel something peaceful or interesting from you. And so do I. Every time I happen to stand next to you, I feel delighted.
But no matter how I express my goodwill, you still keep your distance from me. I really want to be friends with you. I really want to be a shadow walking beside you. I want to share with you the joys and sorrows in my life, as well as hear you share the joys and sorrows in your life.
I don't understand why you keep your heart away from mine, not giving me a chance to befriend someone I truly admire.
I hope you will give me a chance, or at least give me an answer. Is it because I am not as wealthy or well-educated as you, that you refuse to befriend me?"
Andy's letter:
"Dear Ronald,
Thank you for writing to me with such touching compliments. I don't think I deserve them because my heart is still not very generous. I know I'm still a narrow-minded person.
I suppose there are three types of relationships in life. The first is the relationship with superiors that we must respect. The second is with the subordinates that we must love and care for. And the third, the relationship with equals such as friends, which we can be more carefree and comfortable.
With someone I consider my superior, I am also very strict. His head must be above me, and his heart must be greater than mine, so that I can respect and learn from him. I do not choose a superior based on age, qualifications, or status. I only choose him because of his outstanding wisdom and profound morality. Once I have found that person, I show my deep respect, with or without him knowing. My heart will never change.
With someone I consider to be my subordinate, I am equally strict. Compared to me, obviously that person is lacking in certain areas, but he must respect me, and obey my teachings. In return, I will love and care for that person just like for my siblings. My concern and responsibility for him or her will never change.
Similarly, with a person I consider as a friend, I also have my own standards. They have to be supposedly equal to me in some values and mindset. I do not need him to be equal in wealth or status, but I do require him to be equal in certain perspective.
I understand you want to be friends with me, but honestly, I don't think you have the same core values as I do. For example, there was a time I and a large number of people were sitting in the park listening to an orchestra. You were there too, but you didn't seem to care about the music. You didn't realize the hard work those artists so skillfully put into every note. It was such an elegant combination of notes to compose beautiful melodies for life, but you didn't see that.
Once, I saw you walking on the street while drinking a can of soft drink. Upon finishing, you threw it in the trash bin. The can didn't go in, but you didn't pick it up and simply left.
Once, we were together at the birthday party of an old classmate. But you seemed to forget who the party was for. Instead, you used the chance to flirt with a beautiful girl, and ignored everyone else.
Once, I happened to see you bumping your motorcycle into a tourist from afar. You then argued loudly with him, thus destroying his good impression of our friendliness and hospitality.
We live in the same town, so we can see each other very frequently. I'm sorry for noticing those little things, but because of them, I never really think of you as my friend.
My friends must be those who can treat people kindly on my behalf. My friend must be someone sensitive enough to enjoy a concert with me. My friend must be someone who can pick up trash from the street before I can. My friend must be someone who cares about the feelings of the people around him, not just his own feelings...
I have to be honest because you have asked. And I apologize for the rudeness in this letter. But I truly hope you'd get better in life. If we keep living a mediocre life, then life will turn its back on us.
Best wishes,
Andy"
Although society calls for equality, there is still an invisible distinction of classes among humans, among species, among the universe. There will be some people for us to respect, some to love, some to teach, and some to protect. There will be someone to learn from, some to ask for help, and some to take care of.
And friendship is a very strange relationship, very equal and open, thus creating a feeling of comfort. You don't have to respect your friend as much as your superiors. You don't have to be as strict and formal with friends as with the subordinates. We can loosen up, be a little mischievous, or even a bit rude. Because of this carefree mentality, many people prefer friends over family. Unfortunately, our friends may not be much better than us. Bad company can drag us along with their misdemeanors and ruin our life. Therefore, though friendship can be comfortable, we must also be very careful with it.
Written by:
Janna
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