If parents want their children to be ethical,
they need to set good examples first. Parents are responsible to give up their bad pleasures and bad friends for the sake of their children. It is indeed the true love that parents can give to their children.
INTUITION OF CHILDREN
The mother soothed:
“Come on my boy, please eat. I’ll buy you a dinosaur.”
The kid struggled to push the bowl of rice away. The mother kept soothing him:
“My boy, eat this. I’ll hit anyone who bullies you. Okay?”
The father put his newspaper away and said:
“I’m so regretful.”
The mother glared:
“You feel sorry for what? For marrying me?”
“No, not for marrying you because nobody was better than you. I feel sorry for pampering you so much that I spoiled you.”
The mother threw away the bowl and cried aloud:
“Fine. I’m spoiled now. I no longer deserve to be your wife.”
The father grumbled:
“How come you’re just like our 14-month son!”
The father took his jacket and walked out.
He strolled for a while and went into a small cafe. The cafe owner was free so he sat down beside the father, asked:
“You look tired?”
“I’m not tired because of work but home.”
“Did your wife just yell at you?”
The father sighed:
“Now if I could turn back in time, I wouldn’t get married. It’s so stressful. First, I fell in love, tried to get in touch with her, and proved my love for her by so many things from love letters to my time for her, and I pampered her too much. Once she said ‘yes’ to my proposal, her soul had been damaged already, but I was too naive to know. After getting married, I pampered her even more, and now she is so spoiled that she’s incurable.”
The cafe owner did not seem to understand, but the father continued:
“When I knelt to propose to her, I indeliberately promised to ‘worship’ her. Before that, I had said so many winged words. “Here in my life you’re all I have, I am nothing without you.” ‘I wish you could see how much I love you... I love you to the moon and back”. Back then, I had to diet just to save money to bring her around town to eat. I was so happy to see her like the food and I even gave her my food, so when I came home, I ate the leftovers in my mom’s fridge.”
“So, she believed I couldn’t live without her, and she has been no longer down to Earth ever since! She does not accept the fact that being a lover and being a wife are two different things.”
“Please speak quietly, if my wife hears these things then I can’t survive.”
“Now she spoils our son exactly the way I pampered her. He also lives in the cloud cuckoo land now. Incurable!”
Before their brains take in a language, babies’ intuition allows them to understand their kins naturally. This intuition will disappear when their language starts to take over the communication function. During the time they use the intuition to communicate, if they realize their parents love them too much, their dependence and arrogance is nourished. It is a natural process. Children cannot be blamed. If they are spoiled, they are victims of their parents’ blind love.
Love gives people happiness, yet it can also make people dependent and arrogant, and consequently can damage their souls. When we love someone, we tend to show our love to them even more than how much we actually love them. It is our exaggerated romantic love that spoils our lovers.
“... I promise to take you to the purple horizon
Gathering all the clouds, we will build a castle of love
Please do not lack the golden moon in your hair
When the starlight filled my lover’s eyes ...”
(Purple horizon - Duy Quang)
Later, our excessive love will spoil our children. Instead of controlling our expression, we tend to show our children so much love that it ruins their souls. There is a dangerous psychological formula: if a person knows they are loved, they will be dependent and proud. Dependence and pride will degrade their life gradually. When their spouse can no longer endure their dependence and pride, their marriage is shattered. Husbands and wives get divorced, and children are spoiled.
It will help if people are highly aware of the downside of love. No matter how much we love our partners, we should control our expression to help one another improve in moral qualities. Where virtues exist, happiness exists. Where virtues disappear, happiness disappears. If a couple wants to build a happy family, they need to cultivate their morality together instead of overindulging one another.
Likewise, parents should love and seriously educate their children to be good people at the same time. If the children are moral, they will be successful and happy later in life. If they are dependent and prideful, their future will be ruined. The most valuable inheritance that parents could leave to their children is not money but morality. A moral child will study well, have good relationships, and have many chances for success. Meanwhile, if parents only give them money and pride, their life will be poisoned.
However, if parents want their children to be ethical, they need to set good examples first. Parents are responsible to give up their bad pleasures and bad friends for the sake of their children. It is indeed the true love that parents can give to their children.
Written by:
Janna
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Educating Children | Building Character Through Balanced Education
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