If we focus only on the unconcern and become lazy,

COMPASSION AND STRICTNESS

Love often comes with indulgence
Buddhism is the religion of compassion.

Compassion is immense love. Normally, when we love someone, we often pamper him or treat him the way that makes him happy, and we tend to ignore his weaknesses, and that's why we have indulgent parents and spoiled and pampered children. No matter how spoiled their children are, the parents still love and do whatever pleases them. There was a couple who had an only son. They loved him so much that they gave him whatever he wanted. Their unconditional love for the son killed him. One day, a police officer came to tell them:

• Your son has just been arrested.
• But, why?
• He led an illegal racing team which caused a fatal accident. He will be sentenced to 8 years in prison.

The parents were heartbroken and tried many ways to commute his son's sentence. He caused a fatal accident, and the victim's family was miserable and might be very angry with the culprit. But his parents didn't care about them but only him. They didn't care if their son committed any crime but if he wouldn't be sentenced. Most parents behave like that, and it's the nature of love which includes selfishness.

If you love your children by pampering them
When they run out of blessings, they will suffer.

And compassion in Buddhism is also very close to the love of sentient beings. But besides compassion, we also have happiness and forgiveness. When you love someone, you will easily forgive him when he makes mistakes. That's why parents always stand on their children's side even the children commit a severe sin. However, if there is too much forgiveness, evil things will be free to spread.

Humans need love to live, but remember that if we put our love on the wrong people/things, it's a poison. Thus, all Buddhas and saints teach that we must be both strict and compassionate. If we love someone, we shouldn't pamper him but educate him to become a good person.

Remember the two different goals of love: one is to please and pamper the person we love, and the other is to help the person we love to be better. So if you love your children, try to teach them to become good people. If you love your husband/wife, try to make him/her better but not pamper him/her. If you love your boyfriend/girlfriend, try to help him/her better by taking him/her to a pagoda to practice Buddhism together and if he/she would like to become a monk/nun then let be happy to fulfill his/her wish. So when you love someone, you must be strict with that person but not give him whatever he likes.

There was a very wealthy man. When he was doing his work, the phone rang. He seemed very happy when the girl at the other end said:

• I'm shopping. Should I buy a Louis Vuitton bag worth twelve thousand dollars?
• Sure.

It's indulgence and a waste of money. He and his girlfriend will be out of their blessing soon. If we don't have enough wisdom, we easily pamper the person we love and fulfill his wishes, even they're not good. But when we reach a level high enough in our spiritual practice, then our strictness naturally appear.

You have the right compassion for someone if you try to make this person better
In the case of the wealthy man above, rather than agreeing with his girlfriend, he should advise her:

• Well, I think you should spend twelve thousand dollars on charity. What if someone stole that bag? It's a complete waste of money. I can afford to buy that bag for you, but I think you should make offerings and do charity instead.

He should advise his girlfriend with love and determination but not indulge her. Opposing our loved one's wish needs our wisdom and bravery which are only achieved through the practice of the Dharma.

We've already shown two cases. The first is that the wealthy man lets his girlfriend do whatever she wants, and the second is when he understands Buddhism and stops his girlfriend from spending money on unnecessary things and advises her to create blessings. Only those who practice the Dharma have sternness, thus don't let their loved people do bad things. This is a criterion for judging one's wisdom and bravery.

Therefore, if we still indulge our loved ones, then we should know that we don't have enough wisdom and bravery. However, it's not our fault because it's the nature of love. So, don't blame anyone on his indulgence or on why he doesn't stop someone from doing bad things because he can't, but why? Because he hasn't yet reached a high level of spiritual practice. Thus, when he does, he can control his sentiment and become strict to the person he loves as well as wants to help that person become perfect, create a lot of blessings, and develop his faith in Buddhism.

Our wish for others is a measure of our wisdom and bravery
What does the wish of a Saint for sentient beings, and that of a compassionate spiritual practitioner?
Our wish for others reflects our soul and is a measure of our wisdom and bravery.

Many parents take their babies/children to pagodas to beg the virtuous monk's/nun's blessing for them. Some said:

• Dear Master, my baby often gets sick, please wish him to be healthy.
  And some said:
• Dear Master, please pray for my child's learning well.

Then the Master placed his hand on the heads of those children and wished them their parents' wish. But after many years of practicing the Dharma, besides the parents' right desires for their children, the Master pray to Buddha for them to have the absolute reverence for Buddha, have compassion for all sentient beings, have the firm faith in Buddhism, and in every life they're reborn, they will meet the Dharma to practice and to bring benefit to sentient beings. Because the Master has reached a higher level of spiritual practice, his wish for human beings becomes different.

Our right wish shows our right love, and the wish of Saints for sentient beings is many times greater.

And if every day when you see people and don't have any wish for them, then you are not compassionate. Only when we have a wish for others, do we have compassion.

You see so many people fashionably dressed on the street, but deep inside their hearts, many feel bitterness. What indeed is behind the beautiful clothes and the nice car of a person? First of all, it's sure that he/she has some illness, and maybe an emotional breakdown.

some troubles with the job, some disagreements, worries, and uncertainties for the future. Behind one's good appearance are one's bitterness and concerns. If he is rich and successful, he doesn't need to worry about his material life, but what about his mental one, does he have a peaceful mind? Everyone is always busy with his work and purpose but finally, what will he achieve? Nothing but death?

There are many people
Living on this beautiful planet
But there are just few
Relying on the Dharma for a better life.

And there are many things that we should think about for our country and people, and we naturally have worries and wish people happiness, a peaceful mind, and a time for their spiritual practice to become liberated some day. And when looking at the flow of people on the street, at least we wish them safety. If we have nice wishes for life, it's because our compassion has arisen, and so has our faith in Buddhism.

If we don't raise any wish for people when looking at them hurriedly traveling on the street, we should know that we don't make any progress in our spiritual cultivation and our compassion hasn't arisen yet. We can assess our practice results based on our wishes for others. The right wishes always accompany our strictness. We wish them to become noble and perfect but not to indulge them and let them do bad things. So, the right wishes reflect the right love and compassion.

Be unconcerned but diligent

We practice Buddhism for our liberation. There are many poems, terms, pictures by meditation masters expressing the level of the unconcern of meditation. And it seems to be the model of the practice Buddhism because those who go on the right spiritual path will gradually become unconcerned tranquil, and quiet.

However, the state of unconcern and serenity that we're looking for is very similar to laziness. The example below illustrates laziness but not unconcern in Buddhism. As wife said to her husband:

• Honey, I'm cooking, please help me clean the house.
  The husband was still sitting in his hammock comfortably and didn't seem to hear anything.
• Honey, our baby is crying, please help me comfort him.

The husband was still sitting comfortably and admiring the clouds. He is lazy but not unconcerned as in Buddhism. Be careful, or else you will become a lazy person while seeking the unconcern in Buddhism.

Those who have a proper understanding of Buddhism are unconcerned but very diligent. They stay calm and peaceful in the face of adversity but will be very active when having an opportunity to serve sentient beings. So, we must be diligent to balance the psychology of a Buddhist practitioner aiming at peace and unconcern.

If we don't need to be diligent
Who will take care of the sacred Dharma
Who will develop the country
And the holy path?

If we focus only on the unconcern and become lazy, we have a disadvantage in our soul. But if we're diligent and enthusiastic but hot-tempered, then it's also a disadvantage. Seeing a person busily but calmly helping people, we know that he is going in the right direction. Apathy and diligence are contrary but complementary and form our perfect mind which helps increase our virtue.

Buddhism consists of many schools, and the Pure Land School and Meditation School are the two most popular and developed ones. Pure Land Buddhists often chant Sutras, do charity, release animals, build bridges, hold Buddhist ceremonies, and make repentance. Meditation Buddhists seem to be quiet and apathetic, but the side effect is they don't want to do anything. A visitor begged a Master:

• Dear Master, please teach me the general ideas of Buddhism.

The Master bowed his head and quietly walked into his hut. The visitor didn't know if it was a transcendent answer or because the Master didn't know how to respond. The Master seemed to be lazy.

There is a sad story about meditators. A meditation monk loved to lie in his hammock in his hut. The food that he ate every day was from the offerings of the nearby villagers. Near his shelter was a village road on which the villagers rushed to their field every day. Lying in the hammock, he found how happy he was, and he said to himself, "How can your busy life be compared with my enjoyment of lying in my meditation hammock." One day he was excited about his great happiness and said a bit louder, and a farmer heard it. Very angry, he responded, "If there were not busy men like us, then how could you be lying in that meditation hammock!"

Apparently, this Master's view was wrong, so he was criticized. He felt superior to the farmers, but the truth is he was lazier than them.

Although farmers don't achieve any spiritual result, if they can fulfill their responsibilities as fathers/mothers/children, then they are still useful. How about the monk who enjoys lying in his meditation hammock? Did he fulfill the responsibility of an ordained person which is to teach beings? How many people did he help to take refuge in the Three Jewels or did he preach any interesting sermon? Though farmers still had greed, anger, and ignorance, they worked very hard to raise their family, fulfilling his duty. The farmers were better than the meditation monk in terms of meeting the duty.

Be careful with the so-called tranquility and unconcern. The right practitioners are unconcerned about worldly things but very diligent to serve sentient beings but not just to do big things like praying to the Three Jewels' blessing for sentient beings or educating humans. They do even small things like picking up a piece of garbage or manual work like cleaning the house, washing the dishes, cooking, hoeing, etc. If we look down on this kind of work, then we don't earn any fundamental virtue, and we are similar to lazy and arrogant people. Those who desire to serve others never miss any chance of helping and only when do they want to teach others, they ask them to work.

As an example, a Master wants to teach his disciples, so he called one and said:

• My son, why can a piece of garbage be here?
• And who just finished half of this bowl of rice. Bring him here for me.

The Master didn't do it himself because he wanted to teach his disciples, or else he would do it himself and with happiness. He never had such a thought, "My disciples will do this work, how can a Master like me do it?"

There is a story about the virtue of a monk. He has many disciples most of whom are young, healthy, and intellectual. Despite his old age, he often comes to the dining room ahead of time to serve the disciples. He starts with the back table (for newly ordained disciples) and gradually moves on. Except when there are guests, he will let his disciples do, and often if having free time, he does it with his disciples because he wants to remind himself: "If you don't do these things, gradually you will have the thought that you are the Master, so you don't have to do little things but your disciples. In this life, there is no minor or major work, as long as it serves people, all are worth the same.

In summer retreats in Buddhism, the venerable Master plays a critical role: he is the manager and the main teacher to teach the Dharma to monks/nuns. The manager takes care of the practitioners' needs and creates all favorable conditions for them. Although the venerable Master is very busy with his work, when he comes to the retreat, he will prepare the meal for every monk/nun. The monks who are less active find it so surprising, and they told the Master, "Never in my life, I've seen such a thing - a Venerable Master serve others a meal." Being a venerable Master, he is strict, gentle, and compassionate that warms up the hearts of the people around him. His work is an unspoken sermon lively and wonderful more than any other one, and perhaps it will forever be the valuable lesson for the next generations of monks/nuns, and it is also a lesson for all of us to reflect on.

For the venerable Master, cleaning the toilet, picking up a piece of trash, preparing a meal of his disciples, and preaching a sermon, etc. are equal.

No work is significant or insignificant
If it's beneficial to sentient beings.

It is diligence that helps to balance the psychology of a cultivator in Buddhism who seeks a peaceful mind. Don't just focus on the unconcern state and we probably become lazy because we forget the morality of dedication, commitment, and serving. We are only going in the right direction when we are both diligent and apathetic.

Written by:
Janna

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